It’s such a weird feeling that I never experienced before . I don’t know . Is it Melancholy ? Depression ? I really don’t know . But this is October this year . It was a long month . I rarely enjoyed any of it . In fact, I can’t wait for it to end .
Everyday is the same routine that grew too boring and annoying . And the problem is, there is no positive feedback of this routine. Only feel happy when I’m spending time with my little family in the house where I don’t care about anyone outside it. Then comes the night where I start to have my fears again; fear of a new morning with the same boring routine. The night is the worst of all since I experience nightmares that are vivid in a truly scary way . And even worse , They all lead to the same conclusion : no hope in this place . At least for the time being .
Thieves stealing my mother’s keys to the house and coming to my home and terrorizing it . Buildings all around our building falling one on the other like dominos . Going back to my neighborhood to find it all rubble , full of thugs and thieves . It sounds a bit like many things that happen around the world and around me here in Alexandria but actually these are my nightmares . the vivid ones that scare me the most , that wake me up scared and shaking.
Could it be the change of seasons ? Could it be politics in this damned country ? Could it be my sense of lack of achievements ? I don’t know . I just wish myself and wish you all for this month to end and for a new beginning . Here , there , elsewhere . Honestly, I don’t care . A new beginning where I’m not scared , where I don’t care . Where I don’t have to face every night’s nightmare .
A new beginning .